Christmas Feeling

Cookies, Family, Carols, and Joy.

Christmas can mean a lot of things to some people. Its a time a year when family come together again and exchange gifts and love. For some its religious, for some its just another holiday that companies want to make money off of. Children consider it a time they can finally get that toy they've been wanting from the Fat Jolly Man while adults can indulge themselves with some eggnog. Christmas is a lot of things that bring hearts together.

People cling to what they call "holiday spirit." A feeling of pure content and thankfulness for the people around them. For the past couple of years, I haven't felt its presence when Christmas comes around.

Don't get me wrong, I've been around family and friends that love me dearly. I've trimmed my Christmas tree every year and made sugar cookies with the family. Christmas traditions have always been apart of the annual routine and I couldn't imagine myself doing anything else around the time December 25th is fast approaching. However, a certain bliss that I cherished every year seems to have fleeted.

Maybe its because I'm older and I no longer believe in an all-knowing man that knows how good I've been and sneaks into my house to drop off presents. Maybe its because I haven't seen a proper white Christmas in a few years. There is not one single reason alone that has caused me to lose that special feeling. It is all in my mindset in the end.

I've learned that there is no perfect formula for the spirit of Christmas. You can't expect for every little thing to happen the way you want it to be. Its more likely than not that your ideal holiday will not be everything you wished for. And that's okay.

Happiness should be almost spontaneous and never forced. Its organic and there isn't a perfect way to go about it. I think I have stressed over wanting to be happy and trying to make it happen to the point where I can't be happy when I'm doing the things that used to always fill me with joy.

I hope that by Christmas maybe I'll feel the holiday spirit again, but, if not, I know that everything will turn out okay.

Fake News Story: Man Survives Over a Year Lost At Sea

Arthur Kane was a simple fisherman who planned a fishing trip with his pet dog Sparky and 3 other men on April 23, 2015. Little did he know that his life would be turned upside down because of an ordinary fishing trip. That day was the last time he would see his home in Santa Barbara for a year and a half.

Rescuers have found the only survivors of the fishing trip, Arthur Kane and Sparky the dog, yesterday.

Kane and the three men were fishing off the Pacific coast for lobsters about a year ago. On the evening of the 24th of April, they decided go a little farther off the coast for a better pool of lobster instead of going home that night. "It is funny to think that whole mess would've been avoided if we just went home when we were supposed to" Kane recalls.

Kane claims that an insane massive storm caused his fishing boat to capsize. Luckily, Kane, Sparky, and another ship member, John Deeble, managed to get on a life raft before the boat sank below into the deep depths of the ocean. The outcome of the two other crew members , Franky Poehler and Abraham Shaw, is unknown.

With only a small amount of food, Kane and the others remained on the raft for two weeks stranded in the middle of the ocean. They endured heavy rains and hot summer days as they floated on the ocean.

“We had to drink seawater and spit out the salt. Sparky thought it tasty nasty and would only lick our sweat,” Kane says. “I didn’t think it tasted that bad.”

Kane notes that there were times he wanted to give up, but he knew someone had to take care of his loving pet.  According to Kane, he was once visited by a spirit in his dream. They were running very low on resources and needed a solution fast. “The spirit told me that there was an island nearby that had supplies and food. However, the only way we could reach this island was through a sacrifice. We had to throw a beating heart into the ocean. It was pretty nuts.”

The morning after, Kane claims that Deeble willingly offered up his own heart because, in his words, “he would’ve done anything for Sparky”. Deeble’s heart was thrown into the ocean along with his corpse.

“I was pretty bummed that Deeble died. He made some pretty funny jokes.” Kane chuckled.

Kane and Sparky made it to an island off of Indonesia. There, the two of them spent their time fishing using a spear and making a hut out of sticks and leaves. They remained on that island for about 14 months.

Rescuers found the pair yesterday after a helicopter pilot spotted fire beacons coming off the island.

“I’m just happy that Sparky will be able to eat dog food again. I think he was getting tired of eats seagull flesh all the time” Kane says.

Upon their return, Santa Barbara supplied them a year's worth of dog food. What a treat!

Clowning Around

In the past month, there has been a lot of clown hysteria with all the recent sightings of creepy clowns. Multiple stories, whether they be fake or real, have come out in the media about clowns coming out of the woods and leading children into them. Not only has it become a joke among media, some people have also gone to the extent of going on "clown hunts", which is where they bring weapons with them and seek out clowns in nearby woods. 

I find this fascinating considering that many people have "irrational" fears of clowns. People believe they are creepy and evil. All these stories must make all those who suffer from coulrophobia (the fear of clowns) to feel validated. 

Personally, I don't find clowns that terrifying. But hey, I wouldn't want to spend more than 10 minutes with a clown so I understand it to a degree. Even after all this clown hysteria has died down, I feel like clowns won't ever be viewed the same way again.

Using Stock Images as Reaction Memes

When you download music or a show illegally online

When you try to explain to someone a simple concept and it is still going over their head

When you go to a website without ad block and an ad pop up with flashing colors and sounds pops up on your screen

When you go to the gym for the first time in months and feel super Athletic™

When you decide to make a Healthy Choice by ordering the salad instead of the plate of wings you wanted

Top 5 Hamilton Songs and Favorite Lines

1 Satisfied: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0EqxnWxlvY
"At least I'll keep his eyes in my life."

2 Aaron Burr, Sir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEH9I_oJfqY
"Talk less. Smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for."

3 Burn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CFOuGqBSEE
“You, you, you.”

4 Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyg3Lo_-Ep8
“You have no control, who lives, who dies, who tells your story.”

5 The World Was Wide Enough: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o51rzRr1GJY
"The world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me."

Rainbow of Flowers 

Roses

Carnations 

Sunflower

Venus Fly-traps 

Forget-Me-Notes

Wisteria

A Treasure at a Goodwill

Walking through the endless isles of forgotten possessions and cheap knick-knacks, I wasn't expecting to find anything of value in the Goodwill store. Goodwill is definitely not a department store, no matter how hard you try to look at it. Many of the clothes are out of style or worn in, Halloween items are cheap quality and could break within days of buying it, and, let's face it- the sanitary conditions of these stores are quite questionable. There is a reason they have hand sanitizer disposers posted at the entrance. Sometimes, however, you may find gold when sifting through this sandy, dirty store.  You could find a sweater that isn't as raggedy as the one next to it that you may be able to wear out of the house. You could find an old VCR tape of the Golden Girls show that you think a relative might enjoy. Whatever tickles your fancy.

For me, my gem came from something I was quite surprised to discover. I had found myself walking into the back of the store where a pile of notebooks were scattered about on a lower shelf. One of these notebooks caught my eye as the cover was decorated with little flowers. I had been surprised to find someone's writing in it. The first page read:

"If I were more infinite, perhaps
The space you left would not seem so forlorn
Or if your gentle glance were not enmeshed
Within my living heart I could endure

 But I, unaware of your transience,

Erected monuments of you--
Your walk, your silhouette, you gracious smile
In unconscious plea to hungry gods"

The line underneath was scribbled out. The rest was left unwritten.

It made me really think about the person behind this prose. I wondered if they even knew they gave this notebook away that had writing in it. I tried to imagine who they could be- if they were a young poet writing out ideas or if they were an elderly person with a hobby. Was this about someone they loved? Whoever they are or were, they definitely changed my view of the Goodwill.

Some treasures you need to get dirty and start digging.

Letter to a Friend in a Bad Place

I've been worried about you a lot lately.

I know, I'm also the type of person who doesn't want to press your own issues onto someone else, I get it. But, you've been in a dark place for a while now. I remember a while back you seeked me out for help and I hadn't known the severity of the situation. I never knew the real reason why you were depressed. I wish I had known. You kept your secrets in a locked box and it took someone else, not you, to finally hand me the key. For that, I'm sorry. Part of me wishes I was still clueless but it is a burden I am willing to carry for you. It's a burden I want to help you carry, if you let me.

The worst part is that you don't know that I know your secret.  I don't want to break your trust by telling you but you are already breaking inside. I don't want to sit back and wait for you to tell me yourself. I don't know how long that will take.

It is such a helpless feeling. I want to do everything for you but I feel like I can't do anything at all. I hate facing the facts.

He hurts you. You're hundreds of miles away. I want to give you a hug. I can't. And I'm sorry.

Love,
Your Helpless Friend

School Stress And My Mental Mess

At the very beginning of the summer, I managed to finally tidy up my room after putting my "spring cleaning" off for so long due to focusing on my studies in school (so it was more like summer cleaning?). My room, after many hours of clearing out my closet of childhood belongings and sorting through piles among piles of clothing, had become clean enough to my standards. I found satisfaction in my efforts to organize my room and was determined to keep it in its immaculate state. The end of summer creeped up on me, however, and summer work loomed overhead. All I could think about were the upcoming responsibilities I would have throughout the year. Just thinking about going to school was stressful. I put all my mental focus into mentally and literally (completing all my summer work) prepare for school. My mind became a stressed out, anxious mess. By the time summer ended, my room reverted back into its previously chaotic state. All of my energy was transferred to my school work. It later occurred to me that the current state of my room is an accurate reflection of my state of mind: a hot mess.